"Well, here is Mirkwood!" said Gandalf. "The greatest of the forests of the Northern world. I hope you like the look of it.” (—THE HOBBIT)
There is trouble brewing in the South. Mirkwood is being infiltrated with the dark filth of a dark force which is perhaps very old, but nonetheless, it is has come… The actions of this terrible influence threaten the peace and quiet of not only Greenwood the Great, but likely everywhere else. To think that Thranduil doesn’t care about any of this is absurd. The Wood-Elves aren’t just all sitting around doing nothing all day, and surely aren’t leaving Mirkwood to go off and fall in love with Dwarves who only love gold and go around chopping down trees without regard for the future.
If you don’t like the look of Mirkwood, stay the hell out. If you cannot appreciate the deep dark organic diversity of it all, then go back to your concrete pits and crumbling fortresses. Thranduil and the Wood-elves are very aware of the changing environment here, but who’s going to listen, all anybody will say is “those are nothing but rumors!” And to think they are doing nothing about it is offensive.
There are have been earthquakes coming from the direction of Lonely Mountain, and plenty of flooding and growing marshes and bogs, but these changes are likely the result of a reaction to what is happening in this little corner of Middle Earth by the natural forces, and nobody outside of Mirkwood really has any right to make claims against Thranduil or the elves who protect the river, and who are busy keeping the evil from the South at bay that is likely the cause…
“The elf-road through the wood which the dwarves had followed on the advice of Beorn now came to a doubtful and little used end at the eastern edge of the forest; only the river offered any longer a safe way from the skirts of Mirkwood in the North to the mountain-shadowed plains beyond, and the river was guarded by the Wood-elves' king.” (—THE HOBBIT)
Any accusations that Thranduil is doing nothing, and doesn’t care are likely the fabrications of those evil forces coming from the South. Any suggestions that the Wood-Elves of Mirkwood are selfish evil bastards are also ill-informed…
“These are not wicked folk. If they have a fault it is distrust of strangers. Though their magic was strong, even in those days they were wary.”
“In the Wide World the Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon but loved best the stars; and they wandered in the great forests that grew tall in lands that are now lost. They dwelt most often by the edges of the woods, from which they could escape at times to hunt, or to ride and run over the open lands by moonlight or starlight; and after the coming of Men they took ever more and more to the gloaming and the dusk. Still elves they were and remain, and that is Good People.” (—THE HOBBIT)
Some people in this world have inferred that the elves of Mirkwood mistreat people, hobbits and dwarves, and that their distrust of strangers is unfounded and a sign of their selfishness. They would be wrong. The darkest evil in the world for 3000 years has made it’s new home in the backyard, do you think it is wise to just ignore anyone passing through near to the homes of the Wood-Elves, or those who might be further infiltrating the good green wood of the forest? For as much as you think you know, you call this place “Mirkwood” and fear it, and so you should, so perhaps you should stay out, after all it is slowly being overtaken by the vile ancient forces of Mordor… but this isn’t the fault of Thranduil or the elves.
“Then the name of the forest was changed and Mirkwood it was called, for the nightshade lay deep there, and few dared to pass through, save only in the north where Thranduil’s people still held the evil at bay. Whence it came few could tell, and it was long ere even the Wise could discover it.” (—The Silmarillion)
Thranduil is not sitting around on his ass combing his hair and counting his white jewels in spite of what you may have heard from Hollywood. Why do you believe Hollywood anyways? Are they not the same people who told you that Faramir was some kind of asshole who tortures people? Thranduil is very busy, ladies and gentlemen of Arda, and he doesn’t have time for your foolishness. The White Council may think it knows everything, but they don’t live here in Mirkwood, they haven’t directly witnessed the changes while they sit on their asses and speculate, they can act like ‘nobody’s doing anything about this,’ but clearly, if they had cared soon enough about what was happening they surely would have acted sooner. They didn’t. By all means if they want to fight dragons in the North or actually do something about what is happening south, let them, there’s plenty of things for the Wood-Elves to deal with in Mirkwood from goblins to giant spiders to enchanted streams. For anyone to say that Thranduil ‘needs to come help’ I believe it ought to be the other way around, they ought to be helping Mirkwood… we’re right smack dab in the middle of it all, so take your criticisms and shove them up your Jackson. Helping greedy dwarves recover their gold or waking sleeping dragons miles into the Northeast is not the job of the Wood-Elves. If it comes down to it, we shall help those of Laketown, or if anyone still resides in Dale, but the assholes who unleash dragons don’t need the help of elves, they need to have their heads checked.
This is not a place for those who think they’d like to leisurely pass on through for a quick nature hike, (and keep your damn mountain-bikes and ATVs the hell out of here.) And don’t tell me that Thranduil is running around exterminating anything that moves, or fighting and running off the other natural races of Middle Earth. There are wild men here, there is Radagast in the south, and it is even said that there are some wild periannath roaming around…
[“there are still even a few ’wild hobbits’ in the eaves of Mirkwood west and east of the Forest. (—The Lost Road) ]
So, there are plenty of real immediate dangers here, not just Attercop, (atter-cope=spiders, MIDDLE ENGLISH)(lhingril=spider, SINDARIN, ungwë=spider, QUENYA) there’s plenty of ancient natural hazards, so if you’re looking for a welcoming party with a red carpet, you are severely ill-informed. The Wood-Elves don’t have time to go around scouting to save misguided people from their ignorance of what lives in this place either. The giant-spiders aren’t anything to really be trifling with, but in no such manner are the Wood-Elves proud to “exterminate” them no matter what you have heard. Wood-elves do not smirk and orgasm when they kill beasts. Do you think Wood-Elves armed with bow and arrow are not patrolling simply for the sake of ‘keeping the evil at bay?’ If you want a stay in a four-star hotel, you’d best head to Elrond’s Rivendell Ramada, where he welcomes men, hobbits and dwarves, he’s a nice guy, but he’s not busy dealing with this shit. If you’re looking for a new-age retreat, I hear Galadriel’s got some pretty posh tree-houses to hang out in. (Literally). Mirkwood isn’t for the timid, wild is wild and for all it’s wonders, presently, Mirkwood isn’t paradise, but it is… home. Enchanted River and all.
It is called “The Forest of Great Fear” for a damn reason, but Thranduil isn’t that reason. There are many who’d agree with me here, and though they may be the ‘misfits of Middle Earth’ who, as of late, have been threatened and smeared for their beliefs, and for their assertions that nobody here has ever been called a “she-elf” nor have I ever heard even so much as an ORC utter those words, they may be considered most welcome in this domain. The Wood-Elves here are tired of this trouble that has been brewing as of late, and thank Thranduil for making an effort to supply the wine. So you might then forgive the Wood-Elves for being sardonic, and well, you’d get blitzed too with all the shit we put up with…
By-the-way, if you think Wood-Elves are a tight-knit group of suspicious folk, just go try and make yourself acquainted with the Green Elves of Ossiriand, they’ll not save you from any giant spiders, and they’ll probably shoot arrows at you just for shuffling leaves…
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