Relating to the Elves Part 2: Beloved Beech Trees

So you’ve taken your first step towards understanding Elves, but wait, we’re not done.  There can’t be enough said about… Beech Trees.  That’s right, it isn’t enough to know that you can eat Beech nuts and make cooking oil from them.  There’s this deeper level to why Elves seem to like trees so much, their minds are full of the arch-concept of what a ‘tree’ is.

There is something important to elves in what they might call lúmequenta, the memory of the origin of all things, and the very ‘idea’ of trees is central to this. There is the nyárë of two trees in particular. “The Two Trees of Valinor” they call them. It is told in the Aldudénië, “Lament for the Two Trees” “Of the deeds of that day much is told in the Aldudénië, that Elemmírë of the Vanyar made and is known to all the Eldar. Yet no song or tale could contain all the grief and terror that then befell.” 

These two trees might not be considered “trees” of the kind that we know growing upon Arda today, but they seem to imply some sort of higher idea or concept, nevertheless, and before the ‘grief and terror that then befell,’ were these two very important “trees…”

“The one had leaves of dark green that beneath were as shining silver, and from each of his countless flowers a dew of silver light was ever falling, and the earth beneath was dappled with the shadow of his fluttering leaves. The other bore leaves of a young green like the new-opened beech; their edges were of glittering gold. Flowers swung upon her branches in clusters of yellow flame, formed each to a glowing horn that spilled a golden rain upon the ground; and from the blossom of that tree there came forth warmth and a great light.”

So it is described as like a Beech Tree, and this is the first mention of a specific tree, (a real tree other than Mallorn) likely because they are so fond of them, but it is not exactly a “Beech Tree.”  However the importance is noted.  And once again, this importance and reference to Beech Trees is mentioned again, “The pillars of Menegroth were hewn in the likeness of the beeches of Oromë, stock, bough, and leaf, and they were lit with lanterns of gold. The nightingales sang there as in the gardens of Lórien; and there were fountains of silver, and basins of marble, and floors of many-coloured stones.”

So important is this tree that either it is literally the inheritor of all they hold sacred and dear, or because of its importance, their tales constantly refer to it in order to connect what they understand as a “Beech Tree” with this tale of the Elder Days that they all love so much. 

“And when Valinor was full-wrought and the mansions of the Valar were established, in the midst of the plain beyond the mountains they built their city, Valmar of many bells. Before its western gate there was a green mound, Ezellohar, that is named also Corollairë; and Yavanna hallowed it, and she sat there long upon the green grass and sang a song of power, in which was set all her thought of things that grow in the earth. But Nienna thought in silence, and watered the mould with tears. In that time the Valar were gathered together to hear the song of Yavanna, and they sat silent upon their thrones of council in the Máhanaxar…

And as they watched, upon the mound there came forth two slender shoots; and silence was over all the world in that hour, nor was there any other sound save the chanting of Yavanna. Under her song the saplings grew and became fair and tail, and came to flower; and thus there awoke in the world the Two Trees of Valinor. Of all things which Yavanna made they have most renown, and about their fate all the tales of the Elder Days are woven.

The one had leaves of dark green that beneath were as shining silver, and from each of his countless flowers a dew of silver light was ever falling, and the earth beneath was dappled with the shadow of his fluttering leaves. The other bore leaves of a young green like the new-opened beech; their edges were of glittering gold. Flowers swung upon her branches in clusters of yellow flame, formed each to a glowing horn that spilled a golden rain upon the ground; and from the blossom of that tree there came forth warmth and a great light. Telperion the one was called in Valinor, and Silpion, and Ninquelótë, and many other names; but Laurelin the other was, and Malinalda, and Culúrien, and many names in song beside.”

The Elves clearly have placed a great importance, for whatever reasons upon the Beech Tree, and connected it with a particular ‘conceptual’ or ‘mythical’ tree of the ancient origin of all things, and perhaps because it somehow embodies this idea which comes from these mythical or ‘conceptual’ pre-history, primal trees. (Or at least one of them.)  This story of the Beginning is something that in their existence they are clearly ‘ever-conscious’ of, and it reveals a connection of all that is (Eä) and the living world that surrounds them in their daily life.  

“Not far from the gates of Menegroth stood the greatest of all the trees in the Forest of Neldoreth; and that was a beech-forest and the northern half of the kingdom. This mighty beech was named Hírilorn, and it had three trunks, equal in girth, smooth in rind, and exceeding tall; no branches grew from them for a great height above the ground.”

The Beech Tree is once again referred to of great importance, not even the Oak Tree is so referred to. It would seem that there can be no doubt as to which tree is not only their ‘favorite’ but one they clearly identify with above other trees. 

In the HISTORY OF MIDDLE EARTH VOL 5 THE LOST ROAD AND OTHER WRITINGS

THE ETYMOLOGIES we find variations of nomenclature regarding the Beech: 

BERETH- T bredele beech-tree; Ilk. breth (*b'retha) beech-mast,
but the beech was called galbreth [CALAD] in Falasse, and neldor in Doriath (see NEL). The beech-tree was probably originally called *pheren, Q feren or ferne (pl. ferni), ON pheren; but in EN fer pl.
ferin was usually replaced by the Ilk. breth mast, whence EN brethil beech-tree; cf. Brethiliand, -ian 'Forest of Brethil' [see PHER).

NEL- three. NEL-ED- three: Q nelde; N neledh later neled (after canad four). Prefix nel- tri-. nelthil triangle (neltildi)
[TIL]. Doriathrin neldor beech. Cf. Neldoreth name of a forest
in Doriath, properly name of Hirilorn the great beech of Thingol with three trunks = neld-orn? [see OR-NI]. The N name is brethel, pl. brethil (cf. Forest of Brethil); see BERETH [where brethil is given as the singular). The proper Dor. name was galdbreth > gal- breth [GALAD].

OR-NI- high tree. Q orne tree, high isolated tree. N, Dor. orn. In Doriath used especially of beech, but as suffix in regorn etc. used of any tree of any size. In N used of any large tree - holly, hawthorn, etc. were classed as toss (tussa) bush [TUS]: thus eregdos = holly [EREK]. N orn has pl. yrn.

PHER-, PHEREN- beech. Q feren or ferne (pl. ferni) beech-tree; ferna mast, beechnuts; ferinya beechen. T ferne. ON pheren beech; pherna mast; Exilic fer was usually replaced by brethil (see BERETH).

As far as what they call the Beech Tree in various developments of language, whether NELDOR or PHEREN or FERNÊ or BRETHIL (which also seems to have been used to refer to ‘Silver Birch’) many names flow into other names and are the basis for other names, and bear relationships to other names, further imprinting the ‘importance’ of a concept or thing, and in this case, “BEECH” continually appears to be of considerable significance. 

It is also likely that wherever you find Beech Trees growing, Elves might not be far away.  Beech Trees grow in MIRKWOOD, “About four days from the enchanted stream they came to a part where most of the trees were beeches. They were at first inclined to be cheered by the change…” (The Hobbit) and just outside Thranduil’s cave: “There the great beeches came right down to the bank” (The Hobbit) and of course, the Wood-Elves of Mirkwood, “The beeches were their favourite trees.”  (The Hobbit).

And in OSSIRIAND, “But they were called by others Green-elves, Laiqendi, because they loved the green wood, and green lands of fair waters; and the house of Denethor loved green above all colours, and the beech above all trees.”

And NELDORETH, “To the beeches of Neldoreth I came in the Autumn. Ah! the gold and the red and the sighing of leaves in the Autumn in Taur-na-neldor!”

And as for LOTHLORIEN, it would seem that if at least one kind of their ‘Elven-Brooches’ are the shape of the Beech Leaf, one might surmise that Beech Trees grow there.

And west of RIVENDELL, in the “Trollshaws” Upland Woods it is most likely there would have to be Beech Trees growing since the three trolls Bilbo ran into were burning a fire with Beech logs. 

Above all other trees mentioned or referenced, the Beech Tree is mentioned and referred to the most and used to describe various things of importance.  

However, if you happen to live in the American West, you’re not likely to find any Beech Trees, and they also do not grow everywhere on the planet. There is the European Beech, Fagus sylvatica, and then there is the American Beech, Fagus grandifolia. (Among others http://www.theplantlist.org/browse/A/Fagaceae/Fagus/ ) This is not to say that some city somewhere might not have planted them down town, but they’re not universally distributed in the wild everywhere. They can grow particularly wide, with trunks of up to 30 feet in diameter, the perfect type of tree to build a tree house, like the one Luthien lived in.  Beech Trees were said to have been possibly the first trees to be used as ‘books’ but it isn’t known whether this refers to their pulp, or the fact that they were commonly used to carve letters, words, messages into. The smooth gray bark is very unique, and runes and ancient carvings have been found on them. They were used as ‘trysting trees’ meant to be familiar trees for communication, both for carving messages and as meeting places. They were the ‘book trees’ the “Beech” “boche, boke, and bike” trees where information could be stored, transferred, transmitted.  Today, they are the likeliest of trees that kids will carve their initials into because the smooth bark allows easy carving and display.  

The Beech tree could conceivably be seen as a ‘tree of language’ or a ‘tree of script,’ the ‘book tree’ where stories could be told, would be told, and where people would meet to exchange information.  The Elves were called the Quendi, the first speakers, the inventors of language and story, therefore it is possible that if there were one tree to identify with, it would be the tree we know most associated with language, writing, script, communication, and stories. The Beech represents an ‘idea tree’ like no other, and it is also conceivable that it is linked with the ‘first trees’ the ‘Two Trees’ of Valinor in that by way of conceptual transmission, it is the conceptual offspring of one of these two trees. The idea of “meaning” associated with trees is of vital importance, and these original “Two Trees” highly suggest some sort of ‘original meaning’ or significant symbol of primal ‘meaning.’  While the ‘Two Trees’ are more likened to a more generalized primal concept of the light of the sun and the moon, and all the symbolism that suggests, the eventual ‘growth’ of the very ‘idea’ of ‘meaning’ then becomes their offspring significantly tied or linked to the creation of actual trees. The connection between trees and ‘meaning,’ or ‘language’ or ‘script’ or ‘knowledge’ is pretty clear.  

Within the mind of an Elf, there can be no greater symbol for ‘meaning’ than trees, and that either means one or both of the original ‘Two Trees’ or the eventual manifestation of a tree like the Beech Tree, or the mythical Mallorn.  There is an abundance of links not only in Elvish language to trees, plants, flowers and growing things to the invention of words and their derivatives, but also human language. The connection and association of names of organic things to writing, communication, memory, record keeping, language, and even speech seems ubiquitous.  It may be an eternal mystery as to ‘why’ this is, or why this ever came about, but for the Elves, it is quite clear and they are most contemplative about the origins of such things. When one begins to investigate the origins of words, one begins to find a never ending rabbit hole of links to words which describe trees, plants, roots, branches, leaves, and they essentially ‘grow’ from there inexplicably.  What one ends up with is almost a self-replicating narrative which begins to tell itself, and something we can’t quite call ‘history,’ but rather ‘lore’ emerges which the Elves call nólë, or nolwë, the wisdom of the secret lore. The ‘rabbit hole’ as we humans would call it is the inexplicable weirdness which occurs when one begins to follow the branches of the words, whether it be from nolwë to noldor, or neldor, and follow along the implications of the meanings and how they change, we can not only apply this to Elvish language, but to our own, from buk to boke to buck to book, around to bece and bucca, to beech.  Strange ideas begin to emerge that connect ‘idea’ and ‘thought’ and ‘word’ to plants, trees and mysterious beings which have thousands of names, elves being only one of these names. 

Throughout the Silmarillion, Lord of the Rings, and The Hobbit, there are hundreds of strange words and word associations, and one can follow the phonetics, the spelling, the meaning and the implementation up and down the narrative and uproot far stranger narratives and meanings which aren’t so much hidden nor contain hidden allegorical meanings, but sub-meanings within themselves, self-referential concepts which in fact inspire a seeker to uncover deeper meanings which are in all things, not just the books. It does not offer so much  the ‘answers’ but a curious example of how one might like to go in search of answers… something which can be applied outside the books. For the Elves, this is a given, it is a matter-of-fact way of thinking, it is part of their culture… it is NOT part of our culture, short of a few odd individuals like perhaps Tolkien himself who indulges in playing around with these sort of ideas.  His Elves are a dream of a ‘people’ that are able to make these sorts of connections, and a vague inference that it might have been a long long time ago, somebody once used to believe in such things, but who can know, it would be never anything to us but a ‘myth.’  The good thing is, we don’t have to dig up ancient DNA to prove anything, all one need do is relate to the Elves, and one can begin on their own to do this. The ‘connection’ to the trees and all they mean can be uncovered and the ‘purer’ narratives of ‘meaning’ can be pursued. The benefit of all this of course is that it is all very ‘practical’ and not so mystical at all, for the very real connections to the very real things such as plants and trees and the contemplation of their very real nature effectively opens one’s mind to this mystery of meaning and language, no magic spells required.   

An Elf loves his Beech Tree, either as a reminder of his way of life, or that there could be meaning in life that is both profound and practical.  He is the maker of meaning, and the seeker of meaning, the finder of meaning, the inheritor of meaning beyond himself in the outside world. The universe itself, Eä,  contains meaning, pours forth meaning, and reveals meaning, and manifests meaning within the many things that can be found, things which are physical and things which are not. The Valar, as ideas themselves, suggest the very ‘idea’ that from them came other ‘ideas’ whether they be trees or intangible concepts, and the weirdness of expounding all of this through writing, speaking and communicating is all part of the process and nothing less that a ‘way of life.’  The further one is removed from all this, from this process, the more life becomes ‘meaning-less.’  

So, Atani, a tree is more than a tree, to an Elf… a Beech Tree is more than a Beech Tree… I imagine that when an Elf looks upon a Beech Tree, they see something not only more ‘profound’ they see another world than you do… 

Relating to the Elves: Part 1

“The beeches were their favourite trees.” 

(--The Hobbit, about Elves)

Reality of the Fantasy Series

In this day and age it can be pretty difficult relating to people—let alone Elves, and what most people seem to get wrong in ‘relating’ or understanding somebody is they first size up what that person looks like. I’m not going to do that.  If you were to ever happen to run into an Elf, specifically “Tolkien Elves” or Quendi (their variable tribes, and groups to be sorted later) you might not want to check to see if they have pointed ears, nor stare at their hair or check to see what kind of knife they might have, you might actually want to greet them, you know, ‘whassup?’  Or rather, “Gi suilon!” (I greet you!) 

A good thing to do when meeting anybody of course, but you might then like to make a respectful attempt to acknowledge something they appreciate… and there can be no better thing than starting up a conversation about something they particularly like, a common frame of reference, something ‘real’ that both parties can point to and look at, and that can be no better thing than Beech Trees.

Elves loved trees. Real trees. The very same trees that exist today in our world. By name. There are over 100 real world trees and plants mentioned in Tolkien's books, and that means that not only do these 'people' identify with them the same we we do, such as eating, utilizing them, there's something expressed that is no doubt just as 'real' for this fantasy as it would be for the real world of our very own. So that means we can also identify with them.

Yeah, as one of the Atani, you couldn’t give a shit about Beech Trees, yes, I know, but if you’re thinking of even attempting to relate to Elves, you better at least give it a shot. It’s likely they already think you’re an asshole anyways and this would be your opportunity to make a good impression.

The Elves call them ‘feren’ (phernê) and you might want to know a few things about them before you shoot off your mouth. (fernë in Quenya) Trees are important to Elves, and especially Beech. Why would that be? As one of the Atani, trees mean nothing to you, unless you’re cutting them down to burn shit, or make weapons, but Elves don’t see it that way, they see trees differently, and so you better get a few things straight in your head. 

Now the Beech Tree (Fagus; as in “phay-gus”) is a tree, and that’s basically as far as your Atani mind understands it, it’s main use is for firewood, easy to split with an axe, it burns for a long time and produces a nice calm flame. Beech chips have been known to be used in brewing beer, and today the Atani use the wood to make weapons, the ones that shoot lead projectiles, for the ‘stocks’ of their ‘guns.’ Not something you want to bring up I’m afraid, so don’t even try.  

Now nobody knows all the details about why they like Beech Trees so much, but we do know that the Forest of Neldoreth also called Taur-na-neldor is a forest of Beech Trees where Beren met Luthien (some famous Elvish lore) and there was this Beech Tree called Neldor or Hírilorn “Tree of the Lady” where Luthien was kept by her father.  There are 17 references to Beeches in “Lord of the Rings”/“The Hobbit” together, and 8 in the Silmarillion, and 2 in “The Children of Hurin.”  

Elves live pretty close to what humans call “Nature” though no such word is ever used in Tolkien’s books.  One might rather use the term Eä, but ultimately, the Elves seem to appreciate the ‘growing things’ of this world. They likely know a lot more about them, and so knowing a little more about them and engaging in the appreciation of such things is probably the best idea. 

The first thing you might want to consider is a concept that Elves are also very fond of and that is also the concept of Lambelë, and that means our words for Beech could be something to consider and be very ‘excited’ about. “Beech” comes from words like ‘buche,’ and ‘buke,’ and ‘boke,’ and to an Elf, this is fascinating, because it’s where we get the word “book” from.  The word “fagus” (phagus)(phaya) has to do with ‘eating,’ or ‘edibility,’ and so combine those concepts and you’ll get a weird new concept like ‘eating books’ or something, but I suppose it would depend on the Elf you’re talking to as to whether or not they like to entertain such odd notions. 

The edibility of Beech is good to know, the ‘beech nuts’ can contain 19.4-21.8% protein, 18-20.3% carbohydrate, and a whopping 50-53.5% fat, while one can eat a handful in the fall, in order to utilize large amounts for food, one must process them as one would with acorns, which is to ‘leech’ the tannins out of them by soaking ground up powder or flour of beech nut. Tannins aren't that good for your insides, it’s what leather-workers use to make leather last. So unless you want a rawhide stomach, you better do as the native Americans did and soak the tannins out of them, they also contain a toxic substance, a saponin glycoside, which -- while not fatal -- can cause gastric problems so you also would probably be served roasting them like chestnuts, as this will destroy this toxin as well as enhance their flavor.  If you’re going to run around outside and live like Elves and eat this stuff, you gotta know these things.  

“The leaves were used to help heal burns and scouling, to restore frostbitten extremities, and to heal sores.  The north side of the bark was used as a wash for poison ivy. The bark was also used for pulmonary troubles. Sometimes the bark was used for abortions when the mother was suffering.  Nut meat mixed with bear grease was used to prevent mosquitoes. They chewed the nuts to prevent worms.  They also used beech trees in mixtures to prevent gall, and as a blood purifier.” http://sciweb.hfcc.net/kelly/nature/woody/trees/abeech/abeech.html

Now, the Beech tree can get pretty big, a good candidate for building tree-houses in them, and many Elves do like their tree-houses, also Beech trees actually benefit other trees that grow around them, by conserving the productive capacity of the soil better than any other kind of tree, they’re ‘good guys.’ 

As they grow really old, they start to look like the trees we all imagine in fantastic places like “Middle Earth.”  

There’s some info here about Beech that humans might find useful: Beech. http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/b/beech-27.html

The Leaves of Lorien

And whatever you do, do NOT show him/her your “Peter Jackson” Lord of the Rings “brooch” you bought off the internet, because it will just piss him/her off.  The “Leaves of Lorien” brooch was a Beech-Leaf not that of Ivy or Hedera which appears to be the model for the ‘collectible trinket’ marketed by the movie franchise. (Not to insult Hedera of course, there’s nothing wrong with it, but it wasn’t the Leaves of Lorien that we know). 

“And look at this! He held up a thing that glittered in the sunlight. It looked like the new-opened leaf of a beech-tree, fair and strange in that treeless plain.

'The brooch of an elven-cloak!' cried Legolas and Gimli together.

'Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall,' said Aragorn. 'This did not drop by chance: it was cast away as a token to any that might follow. I think Pippin ran away from the trail for that purpose.’”

Now by saying something like, “Hey there, Gi suilon, look at the size of that Beech Tree, amazing isn’t it?” Or by talking about Beeches, perhaps asking them about them might be the best way to get to know an Elf.  You might want to discuss the higher concepts of what ‘trees’ mean to them and ask just what is it about trees they hold so dear, rather than say, “It’s a tree, dude, what’s the deal.” 

A Survey of the Peoples of Middle Earth

         

Before I begin writing about the Elves, I’d like to make a few observations about the denizens of middle earth… well, ‘modern earth,’ perhaps…  Many people might say my opinion doesn’t count for anything, especially the ‘Tolkien Police,’ so I offer up certain observations which I want you to consider, and determine your own standing in the landscape of ‘enthusiasts’ which are out there. Not everybody likes the exact same things, and have come into it all from a variety of different sources, and not everybody thinks the same things, just as it is with nearly anything else in this world…

Tolkien Purist:  I’m not even sure what a “Tolkien Purist” really is, I assume this is another word for                “Tolkien Police” which means certain people who think they know everything there is to know about every word that has been published by J.R.R. Tolkien. Who decides what I don’t know, but there are so many ‘societies’ of ‘official’ sounding self-titled people that you can’t really trust them. These are not the same people as “The Tolkien Estate” nor are they their spokesmen or lawyers even though they may sound like they want to be.  This is more of a nebulous accusatory term than an actual name of any people, and is usually of a negative connotation. 

Reader:  a reader is simply the humble person who buys one or more of the books and reads them. They may or may not have seen the movies, but as time goes on more and more people have seen the Peter Jackson films, it is inevitable, but the reader ultimately goes on to read the books anyways. The readers read, it’s what they do, and they would choose to read more than to play games. 

Shippers:  These are people who usually express themselves with memes and often fan-fiction, but not necessarily only fan-fiction. They create web pages, websites, Facebook pages and make gaudy photoshops featuring unlikely ‘romantic’ pairings of different characters of the movies and books. I cannot imagine what causes people to do this, but it happens in every other fictional ‘franchise’ and in my opinion, the people who do this miss out on what’s really there in the actual books.

Fetishists:  These are people who go way beyond fan-fiction and shipping all the way to creating pornographic materials based on Tolkien’s works, and photoshop weird scenes involving characters from either the movies or the books. They sexually fetishize fantasy creatures and write pornographic ‘fan-fiction’ and hyper-sexualize everything that takes place in the books and films. 

Fan-fictioners: These are people who are either not satisfied with how the actual stories went, or they want to make imaginary ‘sequels’ or try their hand at pretending to be the original author, or they can’t seem to create their own characters or fictional places so they use those created by the original author. You will find them in every other fictional franchise as well.  Not necessarily to be confused with ‘shippers’ though ‘shippers’ may in fact write their own fan-fiction. Also, many of these people simply like to put themselves into the fictional universe and this is part of a fantasy or role-play. 

Role-Players: Not to be confused with Gamers or even Role-Playing Gamers. The role-player is someone who goes online and engages in the strange activity of pretending to be a character in Middle Earth, but in an un-structured way. They either pretend to be one of the original characters, but sometimes make up their own. (For example: Legolas Evenstar or Gandalf Half-Elven or Sauriel). They create ‘avatars’ and find other like-people and often end up engaging in both ’shipping’ and ‘fan-fiction.’ I don’t know exactly what causes people to do this but I believe it comes from the same impulse that causes them to play video games and role-playing games. These people seem to either want to live some part of their life in Middle Earth, or wish they could be because their own lives are simply lacking in something. 

Role-Playing Gamers: These are people who either invent their own games or play already-invented ‘games’ which feature the characters and places and situations in the books and movies. They either make up rules or ‘play’ by accepting previously existing ‘rules,’ of many different types of ‘role-playing games.’ They do not necessarily ‘dress up’ but sometimes they do (see LARPers and CosPlayers). These seem to be people who fail to assimilate the ideas that exist in the ‘literature’ which has been written and like fan-fictioners, shippers, and role-players, are not satisfied with how their own life engages with the material in the books. For the most part, in my observation, role-playing games are a contest of dominating personalities rather than winning ‘games.’ RPGs are a means for sociopaths to assert themselves and it doesn’t really matter which context, which ‘franchise’ they operate in (Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc.)

Gamers:  These are people who may end up in many categories, they may be role-players, role-playing gamers, fan-fictioners, etc, but mainly, they play video games. There are various “Lord of the Rings” video games in existence, and the video games offer them even a way to waste their time asserting themselves and engage in fantasies which are provided with a wealth of rules and systems which give the impression of an ordered ‘alternate’ reality or experience of life, one that seems to be arbitrary, but still offers the same situations as the role-playing games. What appears to be a ‘contest’ of skill or memorization ends up being another contest of asserting dominant personalities. If they play video games against the computer, it mainly serves as an alternate reality-play and creates a fantasy of ‘being in Middle Earth’ as much as technically possible.

Cosplayers:  To be honest, I still haven’t figured out what a cosplayer really is. This isn’t necessarily “Live Action Role Playing” or is it? Cosplayers either buy or create their own costumes, show up at conventions, but do they really ‘role-play’ is it a ‘game’ or is it simply ‘role play?’ Is it sexual fantasy, or is it actually like kids dress up and ‘pretend’? I haven’t a clue, but it would seem that “LARPers” are in a sense ‘cosplaying,’ but at the same time ‘role-playing,’ but at the same time ‘gaming.’  The mutations of ‘fantasy’ on all these levels really gets confusing, and what motivates these people is likely, they fail to see what is there, and cannot process or assimilate information or ideas which are presented in the books the way “readers” do or others…

LARPers:  I believe these people not only dress up but create literal actual ‘games’ with some sort of structure, but I find it hard to believe that anyone carries out such activity in the modern world. It seems like an awful lot of work for ‘fantasy’ play, but then again, I imagine they still exist…  Many of these people are ‘re-enacters’ who often are obsessed with medieval weapons, swords, costumes, and medievalism, and show up at ‘renaissance festivals/fairs’ and assert their sociopathic personalities upon other people by playing certain roles. They are often loud, obnoxious people whose fantasy ‘roles’ are always boisterous, invade the personal space of other people, and ignore the boundaries of others. They do not “LARP” or role-play characters which are quiet, introspective, or reserved.

Medievalists:  These people usually end up engaging in LARPing, and role-playing games, but also likely play video games, and consume a lot of other ‘fantasy’ novels, movies and ‘franchises.’  They often combine them all, and assimilate them all into one view of all of them which they draw from in their lives. They also like weapons, heraldry, anglophilia, and sometimes dream of living in a feudalistic society, and the works of Tolkien are really not deeply contemplated. They like the structure, and the ‘idea of the ideas’ but not the ideas themselves. They often like to try to make Tolkien’s writings seem like they are promoting the things they like to believe in, and are most attracted to the macho-fantasies which certain characters and groups of people in the books most personify.  These are people more interested in Knights, armor, and catholic style archaic military fantasy. These are not necessarily people who would end up becoming ‘neopagans’ or wiccans, but they might end up becoming ‘racists’ and fascists.  They see Tolkien’s works as re-arrangements of their favorite myths like Beowulf or Wagner’s ring cycle. Medievalists also may or may not be Christians, may or may not be cosplayers, in that they spend a lot of time perhaps engaged in real-world activities like making swords, knives, or selling armor or medieval products.

Neopagans:  These are people who see elements of Tolkien’s works as being derived from ancient ‘pagan’ mythology and become obsessed with the details and concepts which only appeal to their belief that Tolkien was promoting paganism. They are obsessed with the calendars, the Valar, and any mention of magic or sorcery, and they always like to dig up whatever myths they believe Lord of the Rings and the Silmarillion are based upon. They can be ‘wiccans,’ or consider themselves ‘ritual magicians’ like to spell ‘magic’ differently, and sometimes, but not always, become interested in herbalism, but not necessarily for any actual physiological health benefits. They like ‘spells’ and ‘magic’ and ‘the occult’ and other things which many people see as ‘more fantasy.’ They may or may not be “Odinists” and be obsessed with Norse mythology. 

Christian Evangelists:  These are people who emphasize the ‘catholicism’ of J.R.R. Tolkien and often bring up “C.S. Lewis” all the time. They see the Lord of the Rings and the works of Tolkien as ‘christian allegory’ and often dig into the personal past of J.R.R. Tolkien, World War I, and his other life experiences to ‘prove’ that he was promoting a christian view of the world. They see Frodo as Christ, Sauron as Satan and view the writings of Tolkien as purely a “christianized” literary creation. They like to downplay anything that doesn’t serve this view. 

Otherkin/Otherkind: These are a stange bunch of people who like to believe they are reincarnations of “elves,” “werewolves” and “vampires” and have basically become unhinged not only from ‘fantasy franchises’ but reality itself. They may also take part in any of the above, and can be everything from shippers to neopagans, medievalists to gamers, and while for Tolkien, likely are most interested in ‘elves’ but whose ‘beliefs’ most often would not ‘adhere’ or line up with anything Tolkien himself wrote, not simply in terms of ‘canon’ but in terms of characterization. 

Experts:  These are people who are self-titled ‘authorities’ on the names, places, situations and everything that can be memorized and while may eventually be considered ‘purists’ this is not necessarily the case. Many of the ‘experts’ will serve as marketing tools for the filmmakers, sell their own weird ’Tolkien Institutes’ and promote all kinds of shit that you have to pay for. They write books about Tolkien himself, they try to explain where it all came from, and often have lots of letters following their names, and have degrees in folklore, literature, english, linguistics, and call themselves “professors.” They may become what we call ‘the Tolkien Police,’  but usually it is the followers of these kinds of people who become ‘the Tolkien police’ citing their works as ‘authority’ when trying to criticize people’s notions about Tolkien and his writings.

Peter Jackson Fans:  Movie fans of the adaptations of Tolkien’s works tend to mostly not read the books and likely will not make it through ‘the Silmarillion.’ They enjoy fart jokes, Tauriel, Radagast, and other absurdities in the movies and regard them as being more ‘realistic’ than the books. However, there are many ‘experts’ which have expressed the fact that they liked the Hobbit movies better than the book because it is ‘more epic.’ Any of the above, with the possible exception of ‘readers’ may be Peter Jackson fans. Sometimes ‘Peter Jackson Fans’ seem to be schizophrenic when it comes to liking the books and movies, selectively choosing for themselves which is more appealing, and can even be ‘offended’ by some things which they experienced in the movies, while still praising them above the books. Peter Jackson Fans always revere the films above the ‘boring, tedious and hard to follow books.’ 

Spinners:  Often, ‘spinners’ are people with academic credentials, or are in the process of writing university thesis or obtaining degrees, but sometimes they are simply authors, writers or call themselves ‘experts’ and have websites. They may or may not be medievalists, neopagans or christians, but like to write lengthy essays about some subject or another which pretends to be about Tolkien or his writings but in fact are actually the promotion of a religious or political idea. They may post them on the internet for free, or try to sell them to you, they are not necessarily the for-profit ‘experts.’ They concoct highly footnoted screeds about how Tolkien was promoting Norse mythology, or the Bible, or some little detail of paganism or that he was a racist, or promoted fascism, or that he was writing about World War II, or World War I, or that it was an allegory against communism, or that it was promoting Anglo-Saxon culture, or any number of other pet-obsessions that are political or personally religious to the spinner.  They generally try to connect different ideas, stories or concepts that can be found in the Silmarillion, Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit to their pet-theories and attempt to use it to promote their personal agendas.  Spinners are in fact the worst of all of these denizens of Middle Earth because they clearly do not ‘enjoy’ Tolkien nor read what is actually there, but rather use his writings to make people believe in whatever crap they believe in that has nothing to do with his writings at all. Many spinners are also ‘cash grabbers.’ 

Cash Grabbers:  These are people who attempt to ride the coat-tails of the success of Tolkien’s books and more recently, the movies, and create all kinds of bizarre schemes to hook people into buying their products, they make podcasts, write pointless diatribes about ‘where Tolkien got his ideas’ and publish all kinds of materials which offer no greater understanding of the books of J.R.R. Tolkien, most often under the guise of ‘scholarship.’ They also may create worthless books with lots of illustrations based upon the works of Tolkien, and manufacture and sell all kinds of trinkets and junk ‘inspired by Tolkien’ and endlessly network and market their bullshit across the internet. Some may consider themselves ‘experts,’ others, ‘neopagans,’ others sell Evangelist books hoping to hook you into their church, some create fan-films, and others make jewelry and weapons. They create ‘online games,’ and find virtually any and all means to ‘create a product’ which somehow they can market through the ‘fans of J.R.R. Tolkien.” These people are the Orcs of this little universe, but their schemes come and go all the time, while the Spinner’s garbage continues to resurface over and over again causing strife and debate amongst the fans, pitting one group against another, and engaging people in petty religious feuds over nothing.

The Members: These are people who belong to various “Tolkien” fan organizations who try to dictate from their long-standing memberships and ‘investments’ in time and money and relationships with these organizations, to fans and try to sell them ‘memberships’ and other services which only seek to perpetuate these hierarchies from which they can continue on their pedestals. They create new organizations all the time and can also be ‘Tolkien Police’ and ‘experts’ as well as ‘cash grabbers’ and ‘spinners,’ and are often very much like ‘role playing gamers’ in that they rather enjoy asserting their personalities and gain their satisfactions not from Tolkien material but in dictating, denouncing and asserting themselves on ‘fans’ of Tolkien. Their main objective is simply to enjoy the power to be considered an authority, though they may not necessarily know very much. They are not necessarily ‘purists’ but they may seem to behave as such. They generally elevate their organizations above all other ‘denizens’ and if they happen to be of some stature in those organizations or the founders they often make their ‘pronouncements’ as though they were coming straight from the “Tolkien Estate” themselves, though never stating it as such.  

So why point all this out? Is playing a game based on Lord of the Rings a bad thing? Making your own costume? Writing a fan-fiction? Writing an essay? Belonging to a “Tolkien Organization”? Publishing a book about Tolkien? Are these all bad things, and am I acting in a way as ‘the Tolkien Police?’ The answer is not necessarily at all, but what I would like to suggest is how far have you gone to becoming one of these people?  No sociopath in the world would admit it, and all of them would have an absolute visceral reaction to reading the above entries if their subconscious recognized themselves as being one of them. They will attack and defend their egos like cornered wild animals, and then everyone else is left with the question, what are you in fact pointing out here, and why, and what are YOU promoting, Misfit of Mirkwood?

I point these things out simply because I have noticed them, but also because I have rarely noticed something else: rarely do I see an individual write something which is entirely about the material itself. It almost seems taboo. You will be attacked by every one of these folks, short of perhaps fan-fictioners who don’t really care to adhere to any sort of ‘rules’ as passed out by any of these other individuals, content to remain in their own fantasy worlds…but without referencing Anglo-Saxon culture, or paganism, or one of the ‘experts,’ or directly linking something with Christianity or fascism, or anti-fascism, or anything else, rarely do I see anybody write what reading the Silmarillion ‘makes them feel,’ without citing and referencing all these other things. What about the material itself, and how does it affect your ‘real life’ deeply, personally, and effectively in real ways? Is it all just fantasy?  Why do you have to bring up what you’ve heard about archaic religions and medieval practices? Why do you have to cite Tolkien’s personal life?  Why do you feel you need to adhere to the hierarchies and rules created by gamers, societies, clubs, and experts? What about the material itself? Does it speak to you at all without all those other things? I am one of the few people that I know of, a freak,  that seems to gain something from the material and is inspired soley by what actually seems to be written by itself, and I don’t need to engage in all these other things. I am a freak.

Are you a freak?  Can one express anything outside these strange social conventions? Can one go beyond ‘reader’ and not become one of these other types of people? Can one become interested in concepts expressed by Tolkien about Elves and Eä and so forth without becoming a crazy “Otherkin” or a neo-pagan? Can one do this without becoming one of the “Tolkien Police” or by creating yet another ridiculous ‘hierarchy’ of more experts, more rules, or more silly games? Will they all burn me at the stake for saying such things? Is there something to be gained from the actual works by J.R.R. Tolkien in real life that doesn’t involve all these distracting surrogate activities and consumption of products?  The answer, I assert is yes.  One can creatively cite Tolkien without role-playing, and behold and summon the terms and phrases of Tolkien without becoming fan-fiction, nor treading upon copyright or assailing ‘canon.’  If you can entertain this thought, perhaps we can now, finally, take this to a whole new level, which can leave all this nonsense behind, not for all of us, not for the world, these people will all still be out there, and I have no desire to change their minds about anything they do—I am not the Tolkien Police…

There is something out there, deep in Mirkwood, some strange ‘ideas’ which come straight from the books, and they reside in the unusual realm where poetry was born, which have been hidden, seemingly for a long time, but may in fact be uncovered if you look for them, but they cannot be found in video game levels, nor in the rantings of podcasters, or the lectures of experts, nor in the bowels of romantic fan fiction, nor in the cgi of movies, nor in the libraries of occult books, Anglo-Saxon histories, nor even in other old folktales. 

For I am actually suggesting that Tolkien said something ‘new’ that isn’t in all those other things. I’m saying he did something ‘novel’ and expressed something ‘different,’ that he wrote something ‘unique’ and something ‘modern’ and ‘contemporary.’ He actually pointed to something that nobody else managed to express, the dream of course of every writer. I’m saying by engaging in all these other things, you might miss it.  It isn’t just me, who is going to point it out, there’s much more in there than I’ve located, Mirkwood is deep, and rich and full of things that nobody has yet uncovered, that you can also uncover. However, these things in there, I’m saying that they ‘mean something’ and are far more useful and profound than what people seem to be really finding, and in order to reach them, you have to reach beyond all those other things…  Tolkien left an ‘artifact’ on our doorstep which is far richer than ‘source material’ for a movie franchise… it is far more than a re-arrangement of old myths, it is far more interesting than religious beliefs, far more applicable to life than politics, far more of a gift than you might have ever really imagined. 

Other writers have given us other unique gifts, Tolkien isn’t the only one, and he’s not the savior, but what I’m going to do here is look closer… can you? The real question for the Tolkien Police is whether or not “I’m saying that he said it” or whether or not he really “said it.”  The true test is the high value of what the material gives you, in realms beyond the usual mundane stuff that the internet is full of.  There’s some pretty ‘out-there’ ideas in the Silmarillion… and if Tolkien believed that the old Norse myths were ‘telling it’ the way he saw it, he’d have been satisfied with them and not spend over half his life writing about this ‘other thing’ that he saw.  What people are ‘debating’ isn’t about what’s there, they’re debating whether it’s “christian” or “pagan,” whether it’s “fascist” or “anti-communist,” whether it’s “anti-capitalist” or “monarchist,” or whether it’s “based on” this or that or the other thing, they’re not really discussing the ideas themselves and how they relate to them. And if they can only relate to them through paganism, christianity, racism, fascism, politics or as the ‘residue of the personal life of the author,’ well… continue on with your clubs, your games, your money-making schemes, your conventions and your propaganda because you obviously don’t even want to look. 

Let go of the ‘narratives’ that you’ve been exposed to ‘about Tolkien’ coming from DVD Special Features… from History Channel documentaries, from Hollywood adaptations, and from the many books out there written by so-called experts, and open the original books again.  You don’t need “Tolkien Police” or “Tolkien Purists” to tell you what to think about what you’re reading.  The books do reach out to the modern person, and their thoughts, feelings and do have the power to affect your real life, and you don’t need footnoted analysis from professors to explain it to you… I’m asking you to think, and I’m asking you to tell me what YOU think… because these books can have a much greater and more profound impact on your life than you might imagine… if you go outside the boundaries of the gate-keepers and into the text itself, and into your own personal life. What does it mean to you, not them, what does it say to you, not them, what does it imply to you, not them, and what does it make you then see, outside, in real life, not in virtual reality games, or movies, or the confines of rigorous footnoted books about history and comparative mythology… it’s more important than all of that. 

Tolkien Police

I don't much care for Peter Jackson, nor the "Tolkien Police" either for that matter. I don't belong to the Tolkien Society, nor do I bestow great honors upon people who claim to be 'experts.' I'll tell you what I'm going to do... It's really quite simple, I'm going to cite passages from the books, and write about what I've read. I don't need to study up on what some commercial venturist "Tolkien-Professor" has to say, and I'm not going to tell you that what I'm saying is authoritative either.  Peter Jackon's fan-fiction is just as detestable as the Tolkien Police and their nasty trollish habits of telling everybody what to do with their thoughts and how to read the books.

It's rather kind of like those priesthoods telling people what the Bible says.  I'm calling for a freedom unheard of in the land of Middle Earth, an escape from all the tirades of Tolkien Police, but also the idiotic fantasies of fan fictions. If you don't like Tolkien or the Silmarillion, don't read it. If you like Peter Jackson's movies, then go watch them. If you want to filter everything that everybody writes about Tolkien, because you fear it might somehow alter the text you have on your shelf, go write your own scholarly critiques, I owe nothing to any of these 'societies' and I don't have to pay any membership dues either.

J.R.R. Tolkien was this guy... he wrote a bunch of books. What is in those books is in those books. I don't believe I need to consult the almighty priest class of Tolkien societies, nor the fans of crappy movies before I write down some thoughts, nor think some thoughts. (Nor should you.)  If you feel that you have nothing better to do than criticize what I write, by all means, waste your time. I am not going to tell you what to read or how to read it, but there's plenty there in the books, not in Beowulf, not in Anglo-Saxon history, not in Catholic theology, not in neo-paganism, but right there in the books to look at and consider, and ultimately, I think it's getting lost in all this bullshit from Hollywood, as well as the "priest class" of self-proclaimed thought-police who start making demands before you even form a single notion... (I won't call them 'nerds' because I don't even know what that means any more).

What I will point to is what is fascinating and delightful that catches my eyes. If you're busy scouring the internet to attack people for what they write about Tolkien, then you're missing out on a great deal that's there on the pages he wrote. And guess what? I can be as 'creative' as I want to be when talking about what J.R.R. Tolkien wrote...

Disillusioned in Mirkwood...

"Well, here is Mirkwood!" said Gandalf. "The greatest of the forests of the Northern world. I hope you like the look of it.” (—THE HOBBIT)

There is trouble brewing in the South.  Mirkwood is being infiltrated with the dark filth of a dark force which is perhaps very old, but nonetheless, it is has come…  The actions of this terrible influence threaten the peace and quiet of not only Greenwood the Great, but likely everywhere else.  To think that Thranduil doesn’t care about any of this is absurd.  The Wood-Elves aren’t just all sitting around doing nothing all day, and surely aren’t leaving Mirkwood to go off and fall in love with Dwarves who only love gold and go around chopping down trees without regard for the future. 

If you don’t like the look of Mirkwood, stay the hell out.  If you cannot appreciate the deep dark organic diversity of it all, then go back to your concrete pits and crumbling fortresses.  Thranduil and the Wood-elves are very aware of the changing environment here, but who’s going to listen, all anybody will say is “those are nothing but rumors!” And to think they are doing nothing about it is offensive.

There are have been earthquakes coming from the direction of Lonely Mountain, and plenty of flooding and growing marshes and bogs, but these changes are likely the result of a reaction to what is happening in this little corner of Middle Earth by the natural forces, and nobody outside of Mirkwood really has any right to make claims against Thranduil or the elves who protect the river, and who are busy keeping the evil from the South at bay that is likely the cause…

“The elf-road through the wood which the dwarves had followed on the advice of Beorn now came to a doubtful and little used end at the eastern edge of the forest; only the river offered any longer a safe way from the skirts of Mirkwood in the North to the mountain-shadowed plains beyond, and the river was guarded by the Wood-elves' king.” (—THE HOBBIT)

Any accusations that Thranduil is doing nothing, and doesn’t care are likely the fabrications of those evil forces coming from the South. Any suggestions that the Wood-Elves of Mirkwood are selfish evil bastards are also ill-informed…

 “These are not wicked folk. If they have a fault it is distrust of strangers. Though their magic was strong, even in those days they were wary.”

“In the Wide World the Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon but loved best the stars; and they wandered in the great forests that grew tall in lands that are now lost. They dwelt most often by the edges of the woods, from which they could escape at times to hunt, or to ride and run over the open lands by moonlight or starlight; and after the coming of Men they took ever more and more to the gloaming and the dusk. Still elves they were and remain, and that is Good People.” (—THE HOBBIT)

Some people in this world have inferred that the elves of Mirkwood mistreat people, hobbits and dwarves, and that their distrust of strangers is unfounded and a sign of their selfishness. They would be wrong. The darkest evil in the world for 3000 years has made it’s new home in the backyard, do you think it is wise to just ignore anyone passing through near to the homes of the Wood-Elves, or those who might be further infiltrating the good green wood of the forest? For as much as you think you know, you call this place “Mirkwood” and fear it, and so you should, so perhaps you should stay out, after all it is slowly being overtaken by the vile ancient forces of Mordor… but this isn’t the fault of Thranduil or the elves.

“Then the name of the forest was changed and Mirkwood it was called, for the nightshade lay deep there, and few dared to pass through, save only in the north where Thranduil’s people still held the evil at bay. Whence it came few could tell, and it was long ere even the Wise could discover it.” (—The Silmarillion)

Thranduil is not sitting around on his ass combing his hair and counting his white jewels in spite of what you may have heard from Hollywood. Why do you believe Hollywood anyways? Are they not the same people who told you that Faramir was some kind of asshole who tortures people?  Thranduil is very busy, ladies and gentlemen of Arda, and he doesn’t have time for your foolishness. The White Council may think it knows everything, but they don’t live here in Mirkwood, they haven’t directly witnessed the changes while they sit on their asses and speculate, they can act like ‘nobody’s doing anything about this,’ but clearly, if they had cared soon enough about what was happening they surely would have acted sooner. They didn’t. By all means if they want to fight dragons in the North or actually do something about what is happening south, let them, there’s plenty of things for the Wood-Elves to deal with in Mirkwood from goblins to giant spiders to enchanted streams. For anyone to say that Thranduil ‘needs to come help’ I believe it ought to be the other way around, they ought to be helping Mirkwood… we’re right smack dab in the middle of it all, so take your criticisms and shove them up your Jackson. Helping greedy dwarves recover their gold or waking sleeping dragons miles into the Northeast is not the job of the Wood-Elves.  If it comes down to it, we shall help those of Laketown, or if anyone still resides in Dale, but the assholes who unleash dragons don’t need the help of elves, they need to have their heads checked. 

This is not a place for those who think they’d like to leisurely pass on through for a quick nature hike, (and keep your damn mountain-bikes and ATVs the hell out of here.)  And don’t tell me that Thranduil is running around exterminating anything that moves, or fighting and running off the other natural races of Middle Earth.  There are wild men here, there is Radagast in the south, and it is even said that there are some wild periannath roaming around… 

[“there are still even a few ’wild hobbits’ in the eaves of Mirkwood west and east of the Forest.  (—The Lost Road) ]

So, there are plenty of real immediate dangers here, not just Attercop, (atter-cope=spiders, MIDDLE ENGLISH)(lhingril=spider, SINDARIN, ungwë=spider, QUENYA)  there’s plenty of ancient natural hazards, so if you’re looking for a welcoming party with a red carpet, you are severely ill-informed.  The Wood-Elves don’t have time to go around scouting to save misguided people from their ignorance of what lives in this place either.  The giant-spiders aren’t anything to really be trifling with, but in no such manner are the Wood-Elves proud to “exterminate” them no matter what you have heard. Wood-elves do not smirk and orgasm when they kill beasts. Do you think Wood-Elves armed with bow and arrow are not patrolling simply for the sake of ‘keeping the evil at bay?’  If you want a stay in a four-star hotel, you’d best head to Elrond’s Rivendell Ramada, where he welcomes men, hobbits and dwarves, he’s a nice guy, but he’s not busy dealing with this shit.  If you’re looking for a new-age retreat, I hear Galadriel’s got some pretty posh tree-houses to hang out in. (Literally).  Mirkwood isn’t for the timid, wild is wild and for all it’s wonders, presently, Mirkwood isn’t paradise, but it is… home. Enchanted River and all. 

It is called “The Forest of Great Fear” for a damn reason, but Thranduil isn’t that reason.  There are many who’d agree with me here, and though they may be the ‘misfits of Middle Earth’ who, as of late, have been threatened and smeared for their beliefs, and for their assertions that nobody here has ever been called a “she-elf” nor have I ever heard even so much as an ORC utter those words, they may be considered most welcome in this domain. The Wood-Elves here are tired of this trouble that has been brewing as of late, and thank Thranduil for making an effort to supply the wine.  So you might then forgive the Wood-Elves for being sardonic, and well, you’d get blitzed too with all the shit we put up with… 

By-the-way, if you think Wood-Elves are a tight-knit group of suspicious folk, just go try and make yourself acquainted with the Green Elves of Ossiriand, they’ll not save you from any giant spiders, and they’ll probably shoot arrows at you just for shuffling leaves…